Una cervesa, por favor!

Warning: Incoherent Rambling

After the adventure in liver poisoning that St. Patrick's Day (and the following weekend) invariably represents, I thought it might be helpful to provide a bit of an explanation of how alcohol works down here because, like up north, it's pretty common for people to share a beer or five when out socializing. Odds are if you're reading thins you're not exactly a teetotaler (given the general makeup of my social circle), so I'm assuming this will be helpful to most of you.

Beer!

To my right you'll see a bottle of Imperial, which is the most commonly-consumed beverage in the country from what I've seen. It's as ubiquitous as Budweiser but amazingly doesn't taste like it was poured down an incontinent donkey's backside just before bottling. In fact, the closest comparison in flavor would be a less bitter Amstel Light. It's a (very) blond lager, which works out pretty well given how bloody hot it gets down here. There's also a light version, which I haven't touched because I like my beer to have actual flavor, but either way this stuff is cheap and refreshing. The hotter it gets, the more you enjoy it.

Your next option is Pilsen. Made by the same company as Imperial (effectively the only brewery here), it has two flavors. Regular pilsen is generally a bit lighter and less flavorful than Imperial. It's usually the same price, so in general I'll take the latter. Pilsen 6.0 is a different animal though (it actually appears to have some hops in it!) and has its alcohol content in the name, but if you're looking for craft beer you're pretty much going to have to smuggle it. Not to say that it isn't tasty, and in fact if you're an IPA person you could do worse than Pilsen 6.0. There are better offerings to be found, but it'll do the trick.

The "high-end" beer they produce here is called Bavaria, which comes in three varieties: Light, Gold and Dark. Light is more or less the same piss-water you're used to from most light beers, and so I refuse to count it. Gold and Dark however bear mentioning because they're significantly better than Pilsen or Imperial (and more expensive as a result, but not by much). Bavaria Dark in particular is quite good, somehow managing to have the flavor and color of a dark beer without making you feel like you're drinking a side of beef. If you're a beer lover, make sure to try this one; you'll be pleasantly reminded of negra modelo. Gold isn't bad either, but with rare exceptions if you've had a blond before you have a pretty good idea what to expect.

Avoid Rock Ice. It is terrible, in the same way that rancid Wildcat is terrible. And under no circumstances should you drink its ugly sister, Rock Ice Limon. Unless you like your beer saltier than beef jerky that's had a salt shaker upended all over it. Get it for your unsuspecting friend if you want to be an ass, but nobody with functioning taste buds will be able to go past the first sip.

If you're craving something imported there's Heineken, but I won't be joining you. There are better domestic options that haven't been flown across 6 time zones to get here.

Beer bottom line: If you're looking to drink cheap get Imperial, if you're looking to get drunk get Pilsen 6.0, and if you actually like beer get Bavaria. All of them are drinkable even in the most fetid jungle hell Costa Rica has to offer, so don't limit yourself to the golden beers just cause you're all sweaty.

Wine!

My experiences with wine have been limited here, since Costa Rica is a beer-drinking culture even more so than Canada, but I can say a few words about it. You can find some decent imported wines (one of my favorites is readily available), but in general wine is more expensive here than in North America.

If you're traveling on a penniless hitchhiker budget, however, you're probably familiar with box wine. Here the main option is Clos, which goes for just under $5 a litre and is heartily endorsed by pretty much all the German girls I've gone drinking with here. It's surprisingly not bad, though depending on how sophisticated your palate is you might need to start off with the white and chill it to nigh freezing. The Cabernet isn't exactly awful given the price, but odds are if you actually like wine you may need to repeat the price to yourself like a mantra until your taste buds give up.

Hooch!

The next time one of your drunken Johnny-Depp-wannabe friends shouts "Where's the rum gone?" you can safely respond "Costa Rica!" There's definitely a bias in favor of this sugar-cane-based drink as far as liquor goes. Smirnoff is readily available, and whiskey is certainly around, but you'll have a harder time finding the good stuff than you might like.

Rum, on the other hand, is plentiful. There's some pretty damn good Central American rum floating around (Ron Zacapa comes to mind), and honestly I think of rum as a warm-weather drink more so than vodka. Avoid "light" rum.

As far as domestic options go, I've tried Flor de Cana and Ron Centenario. They both come in several varieties, with quality scaling with price. The former you can find in four types, though I'm not bothering with the light rum they offer. The dark rum comes in 4, 5, and 6 year-old varieties, the cheapest being around 6000 Colones (bit less than $12) and scaling up to closer to $20. So not a bad deal. A decent bottle of Centenario will be somewhere around 8 or 9k.

I expect to become better acquainted with rum over the coming months, and will post my findings as I, er, find them.

That's it for now. Feel free to ask questions.

Como voy al bar?

Warning: Incoherent Rambling!

Okay, so I spent another weekend on the beach a couple weeks ago and will do so again next weekend. I'm not mentioning this to gloat (no really, I swear), but because thinking about how I'm going to get there reminded me that I wanted to talk a bit more about how travel works here in Costa Rica.

What do you mean there's no subway/metro/tube?!

Generally speaking buses are the way to go if you're not pressed for time and have a vague idea of where you're headed. There's no such thing as a subway here, and I haven't used the train once (in theory it goes from San Pedro out past Heredia, but since it doesn't run on Saturdays it's pretty much useless for my purposes). The bus, on the other hand, gets you to pretty much anywhere you need to go provided you're willing to figure out which bus or buses you need. It's also really cheap, which is the main draw. I commute by bus, a roughly half-hour affair that costs me less than 50 cents. A bus runs from San Jose (the capital city) to Manuel Antonio (goregous park/beach/general tourist destination that I visited previously), another can get you to Porto Viejo, airports, you name it. The cons are 1) knowing which bus or buses to take involves research and quite possibly San Jose's bus terminal, which is not on my "safest places in the country" list by any means, 2) They can take a while to get you where you want to go, and 3) They run on a schedule, which means so do you.

BTW: Pirata = taxi, not pirate

Taxis are another option. While still cheaper than, say, NYC, they're going to cost money and can only be reliably found in certain areas (though I was surprised to discover a taxi stand 5 mins from my house). Otherwise, you all know how they work. Get in the car, tell the dude where you want to go, pray he doesn't take the "scenic" route. Fares start at 510 Colones (just under a buck) and after a bit will escalate. Things to watch for: some less scrupulous cabbies have what is basically a "turbo" button that will make your fare spike. Keep an eye on the fare, and it it jumps suddenly start asking questions. Likewise, you may be offered a flat fee to pay (e.g. 4,000 to the UNA or something), while this is easy math-wise it's equally easy to get ripped off if you don't know what it would normally cost. If it's your only option, then so be it, and in the grand scheme of things you're probably not paying a huge amount of extra money, but be skeptical if you're being asked for 5,000 for a 10-minute cab ride.

Leavin' on a jet plane

For long distances (an hour's worth of travel and up) you're probably not taking a cab. Buses are still the method of choice for the frugal traveler, but if you've got more money than time you have a couple more options.

I haven't flown intra-country, but it's there for those for whom it makes sense. Both airports fly regional, but more depart from Tobias Bolanos than Juan Santamaria (the latter's probably where you arrive). If I do fly a puddle jumper down here, I'll let you know how that goes.

Don't buy a used rental car

Odds are if you're coming from North America or Europe and aren't on a shoestring budget you're going to wind up renting a car if you've got significant ground to cover. I've done it twice, and it worked out well in both cases. However, if you're going to drive in Costa Rica and aren't from around here (or haven't hired, bribed or blackmailed a local into helping you), there are a few things you ought to know that you would otherwise find out the hard way.

First, there are three kinds of roads in Costa Rica: paved, unpaved, and holy-fuck-where-did-that-giant-pothole-come-from?! Expect to encounter all three. Major cities and highways will have mostly paved roads, with the odd hole cropping up in the outskirts and poorer areas. Dirt roads show up where you'd expect: in rural areas where the government can't be bothered to pave. You definitely need to be careful, but you can get around in the dry season without a 4x4. Just don't run your AC too much; the dust clogged the one on our rental in a hurry (granted it was an '02 Elantra, but still). I don't know first hand whether you can drive a 2WD on dirt roads during the rainy season, but I'd bet against it. Resist the temptation to pretend you're a rally driver either way. Lastly, we have roads that look paved until it's full of 4-inch-deep potholes. These require arguably as much care as dirt roads, since an unnoticed pothole is a great way to ruin your suspension, blow out a tire, etc. Go around them if possible, and if not treat them like nasty-ass speed bumps.

Second, I recommend getting complete insurance, because odds are good that something will happen to the car. Rental companies are pretty anal when it comes to dings and such, and it's arguably better to bit the bullet and put down the deposit in exchange for being certain that you'll get it all back. We came back with dents on the body and a hood that looked like pelicans had used it in a re-enactment of the Battle of Britain yet didn't pay a dime over the rental cost. It was a relief.

Third, a GPS is not only functional but bloody useful. The lack of street signs isn't much of a barrier to an up-to-date satnav, and most rental companies offer to provide one or know a guy who rents them when they're out of stock. For $10-12 a day, it makes your life much easier. During my trip to Manuel Antonio we only had one direction mishap, where the GPS put our hotel on the wrong side of the street. Given the error rate I had in Boston, I'm not complaining.

Think that's it, will add more as I get more ideas.

Cheers,

Matt